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  • DON#39;T MOVE TOO FAST别进展太快It can be tempting to want to blow through the honeymoon stage and quickly settle into a comfortable routine or worse, do something drastic like move in together too soon.匆忙度过蜜月阶段,迅速进入更舒适或者糟糕的下一阶段,这很有诱惑力,那就做点儿激进的事吧,比如过早地同居。But wanting to spend every second together could be the death knell for your partner - so don#39;t drop your whole life for them.但想分分秒秒粘在一起可能导致分手,所以别为恋人倾注所有。Make sure to spend a few nights alone, continue to make time for the things you love and still go out with your friends.一定要独处几个晚上,继续腾出时间做你喜欢的事,仍与你朋友出去玩。It#39;s important to retain a little mystery to keep things exciting, says Meredith Fineman, founder of Fifty First (J)Dates.初恋50次(交友网)创始人梅雷迪思?法恩曼说,重要的是要保持点神秘,保持住。DON#39;T ASSUME THEY#39;RE PERFECT别把伴侣理想化In the early days of a new relationship, you always try a little - or a lot - harder to impress your new partner.新关系早期,你总或多或少会更努力地尝试打动你的新伴侣。But don#39;t expect that they will maintain those standards and give the relationship a bit more time before deciding if they#39;re the one.但别指望他们会一直符合这些标准,在决定是否找对了人之前,给恋情发展多一点时间。Kate Figes, author of books including #39;Couples: How We Make Love Last#39;, says it#39;s important to understand and accept that your new partner isn#39;t infallible.《情侣:我们如何延续爱情》的作者凯特?菲格斯说,理解并接受你的伴侣会犯错这一事实,这很重要。DON#39;T BE POSSESSIVE占有欲别太强Clinginess is always a turn-off.过分依恋往往导致分手。Just because you#39;re newly dating doesn#39;t mean your partner is obligated to spend all their time with you.仅因你们初识并不意味着你的伴侣有义务为你投入所有时间。Expecting (or demanding) too much of their time could signal to them that you#39;re not compatible or that you don#39;t trust them.期望(或要求)伴侣花大把时间陪你会给他们一个暗示:你不适合或者不信任他们。DON#39;T AVOID SERIOUS DISCUSSIONS别避免严肃的讨论Don#39;t avoid talking about your long-term goals and ambitions: Do you want to get married? Do you want kids?不要避免谈论你的长远目标:你想结婚吗?你想要孩子吗?They don#39;t need to happen on the very first date, but shouldn#39;t be avoided for too long.不用第一天就阐明这些,可也不要拖太久。DON#39;T TALK ABOUT YOUR EXES CONSTANTLY别经常谈论你的前任Talking about past relationships is often unavoidable, but in the early stages of a new one, it can do some serious damage.谈论过去的关系往往是不可避免的,但对新欢来说这可能会很致命。Not only could it suggest that you#39;re not over your ex, it could also make you or your new partner draw comparisons.这不仅说明你没有走出上一段恋情,也会让你或者你的新伴侣与之作比较。Heather and Eric Viets, who both have Master#39;s degrees in Marriage and Family Therapy and run Preengaged.com, both agree that discussing past relationships is a major turn-off in a new one.希瑟和艾瑞克-维茨都有婚姻和家庭治疗硕士学位,并且运行“婚前”网站,他们都认为,讨论前任是新关系出现裂痕的重大原因。DON#39;T LIE别撒谎Honesty is always the best policy and a new relationship is no different.诚实始终是最好的良方,这在新的关系中也不例外。It#39;s best to communicate openly about what you want rather than lie to avoid an argument, as it#39;s just delaying the inevitable.最好公开地表达你想要什么,因为迟早都会暴露出来,而非说谎避免讨论。Even little white lies - like pretending to enjoy the same music or movies - could lead to huge regrets if you end up forced to spend years putting up with something you hate.即使善意的谎言——像假装喜欢相同的音乐或电影——如果你最终被迫花费多年时间忍受自己讨厌的东西,都可能让你非常后悔。 /201701/488234
  • Is it acceptable for companies to require women to wear high heels all day in their jobs(邓永铿爵士为FT专栏作家,就生活礼仪方面的问题答读者问。)This question was highlighted by a case last year where a woman working as a receptionist was told that she must wear high heels while performing her duties at all times. She complained that this was very uncomfortable and caused injuries to her feet, and she jettisoned her heels. Whereupon she was sent home.你能接受公司要求女员工们整天穿着高跟鞋上班吗?I must confess sympathy for the employee. Of course I don’t wear high heels, but I can easily imagine the discomfort if they are worn for several hours on the trot for five consecutive working days, at an incline of almost 45 degrees. It must feel like skiing down a black run all day. I know that even for formal events where women wear stilettos for dinner for three to four hours, they usually breathe a sigh of relief when they eventually feel they are done for the night and are able to take them off. Indeed, I know of many women who go to these glamorous events always with a spare pair of flat shoes, which they change into the moment they can fling off the heels.这个问题在去年引起了高度关注,起因是一名从事前台接待工作的女员工被雇主要求必须穿着高跟鞋工作。她抱怨说这很难受,还伤到了她的双脚,于是她拒绝再穿高跟鞋。但随后就被公司请回了家。Maybe employers should ask their female staff to write the company dress codes. In any event, if a company feels that it needs lanky, glamorous-looking receptionists to shepherd clients in and out of its offices, perhaps it should simply employ those who are tall enough aly, although this might well constitute illegal discrimination in itself.我得承认我很同情这名雇员。当然我不穿高跟鞋,但不难想象,如果一周连续五天每天都蹬着将近45度的高跟鞋小跑几个小时会有多难受,那肯定像一整天都在黑道上滑雪一样。据我了解,即使为了正式场合,女性们穿着细高跟鞋出席一场三、四个小时的晚宴,当她们感到终于结束了能够脱下高跟鞋时通常都会长舒一口气。事实上,我知道很多女性出席这种盛大场面时总会再带一双平底鞋,一旦她们脱掉高跟鞋就会马上换上。Do you like visiting famous people’s burial places If so, where do you go也许雇主们应该让他们的女性员工撰写公司的着装规范。无论如何,如果一个企业觉得,他们需要瘦高个儿、浓妆艳抹的前台迎来送往,那或许他们就该直接雇佣些本来个头就高的人,虽然如此一来本身就可能构成了非法歧视。I love visiting necropolises, cemeteries, mausoleums and other burial places, mainly because that’s the nearest I get to meeting people I have admired and loved, and also hated, but whom it is now impossible to meet. So I have seen nasty Stalin’s necropolis at the Kremlin, as well as Lenin’s embalmed body nearby, and that of Mao at Tiananmen Square in Beijing. They all give me the creeps because I can never fathom their crooked minds.你喜欢探访名人墓地吗?若喜欢,你会去哪?The grandest of burials is possibly that of China’s first emperor, Qin Shi Huang, whose mausoleum in Xian includes a terracotta army of more than 8,000 soldiers. Equally grand, perhaps, is the Great Pyramid of Giza for Pharaoh Khufu. But other than individual burial sites, the cemetery in Vienna and London’s Westminster Abbey have the most interesting selection of dead people.我喜欢探访墓园、公墓、陵园和其他墓地,主要是因为那里是最接近我曾仰慕和爱戴过的人们的地方,也有些我厌恶的、如今不可能再见的人。所以我曾到克里姆林宫探访过卑劣的斯大林的墓地,以及不远处列宁的遗体,还有北京天安门广场上毛泽东的遗体。他们都让我觉得毛骨悚然,因为我永远不能理解他们扭曲的思想。Vienna Central Cemetery — said to be “half the size of Zurich, but twice as fun” — contains the graves of Brahms, Beethoven, Czerny, Schubert, Johann Strauss, Josef Strauss, von Suppé, Wolf and Schoenberg. What a resounding graveyard this would be if all the dead bodies came alive! Then there is Westminster Abbey. In its Poets’ Corner alone, there are the graves of Chaucer, Dryden, Sheridan, Spenser, Dr Johnson, Browning, Tennyson, Dickens, Hardy, Kipling; as well as memorials for the three Bront sisters, Jane Austen, Elizabeth Browning, Keats, Byron, Coleridge, Lewis Carroll, George Eliot and TS Eliot. There is no other place on earth within which the ghosts of those who have enriched this earth so abundantly continue to live.最宏伟的陵墓当属中国第一位皇帝,秦始皇(Qin Shi Huang)的陵墓,秦始皇陵位于中国西安市,墓中包含有8000多尊兵马俑。能和秦始皇陵媲美的,或许就是埃及法老胡夫(Pharaoh Khufu)的吉萨大金字塔(Great Pyramid of Giza)。而除了某个人的墓地外,维也纳(Vienna)和伦敦的威斯敏斯特教堂(Westminster Abbey)还有最有趣的名人公墓。Mind you, the most impressive burial site must be Robert Maxwell’s — on the Mount of Olives in Jerusalem, from where Jesus Christ ascended to heaven. Was this location chosen for “Bob” to resurrect维也纳中央陵园(Vienna Central Cemetery)——据说“有苏黎世的一半大,但却比苏黎世有意思一倍”——陵园中葬有勃拉姆斯(Brahms)、贝多芬(Beethoven)、车尔尼(Czerny)、舒伯特(Schubert)、约翰施特劳斯(Johann Strauss)、约瑟夫施特劳斯(Josef Strauss)、冯苏佩(von Suppé)、保鲁夫(Wolf)和勋伯格(Schoenberg)。如果这些名人死而复生,那这个墓园将会多么热闹!还有威斯敏斯特教堂。单其诗人角(Poets#39; Corner)一隅,就埋葬着众多文豪,其中包括乔叟(Chaucer)、德莱顿(Dryden)、谢里丹(Sheridan)、斯宾塞(Spenser)、约翰逊士(Samuel Johnson)、布朗宁(Browning)、丁尼生(Tennyson)、狄更斯(Dickens)、哈代(Hardy)、吉卜林(Kipling);那里还有勃朗特三(three Bront sisters)、简奥斯汀(Jane Austen)、伊丽莎白布朗宁(Elizabeth Browning)、济慈(Keats)、拜伦(Byron)、柯勒律治(Coleridge)、刘易斯卡罗尔(Lewis Carroll)、乔治艾略特(George Eliot)、TS艾略特(TS Eliot)的纪念碑。世上再没有哪个地方收容着这么多曾经极大地丰饶过这个世界的灵魂。If the US is so “uncivilised” and unfit for living, why do you even visit or do business there如果美国这么“不文明”而且不适合居住,那为何你还去那里旅游或做生意?There are many uncivilised places which do not preclude my visiting or doing business with, because these are not mutually exclusive. Most cities in China are choked with pollution and ugliness, but I still travel there to visit and for business. In Middle America, I find a lot of customs and the behaviour of people, especially mass followers of evangelism, rather disturbing. The west and east coasts are full of intense and obstinate Americans, with Californians utterly intolerant of smokers and Noo Yawkers ruthlessly mercenary, and both over the top with political correctness. And US customs and immigration officials are known for their aggressiveness. I always try to take a little Valium before confronting them. Yet, I love all these differences and never mind being in the US as a tourist or businessman, if only to remind myself of the importance of diversity and absurdity.有很多不文明的地方,但这并不妨碍我去那里游玩或公干,因为这并不矛盾。中国有很多城市都污染严重、市容丑陋,但我仍不时去那些地方造访和出差。在美国中部,我发现那里很多风俗和人们的举止,尤其是众多福音传道的追随者们,都让人不胜其烦。东西海岸又满是热情又顽固的美国人,加州人对吸烟者一点都不能忍,纽约客们则生性冷漠惟利是图,而这两者在政治上却又都过分正确。听闻美国海关和移民局官员向来咄咄逼人。跟他们交锋前我总要先些安定。然而,我喜欢所有这些分歧也从不介意在美国做一名游客或是商人,只要我提醒自己想一想多样化和荒谬的重要性。 /201705/508850
  • After a series of myriad eye-catching culture products released by the Palace Museum, it has put its creativity on display again by promoting ;dog coats; during an innovation competition in Beijing.继推出一系列各式各样吸引眼球的文化产品后,近日,故宫物院再次展现了其创意,在北京的一场创新大赛上推出了;;。;There are not only cats but also dogs in the museum. The dogs also deserve our respect and they should be dressed as being naked is not good,; said Shan Jixiang, director of the Palace Museum, at a news conference held by Ministry of Culture in May.在5月文化部举行的新闻发布会上,故宫物院院长单霁翔表示:“物馆里不仅有猫,而且也有。也是值得我们尊重的,它们应该穿上衣,而不应该着。”According to Shan, dogs were adored by the royal families in the Qing Dynasty and got their own dresses.据单院长介绍,在清朝备受皇室宠爱,穿上了属于它们自己的衣。The coats on display at the competition were made based on drawings sketched by artists in the Qing Dynasty.本次比赛展出的衣就是根据清朝艺术家描绘的画作制作的。The coats have caught the public#39;s attention widely, especially the pet-lovers, although the price and when they will be available hasn#39;t been announced yet.尽管这些的价格和发售时间尚未公布,但已引起了公众,特别是宠物爱好者的广泛关注。Earlier, products launched by the museum, such as animated emperor figurines and earphones in the shape of pearl necklaces, proved to be very popular and best-selling.故宫物院此前发行的产品,比如动画版的皇帝图片及朝珠状的耳机,已经被明是非常流行和畅销的。 /201609/465424
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