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Martin Ford’s The Rise of the Robots , this year’s business book of the year, is in some ways the dystopian bookend to Thomas Friedman’s The World Is Flat , which won the first Financial Times prize for compelling business books 10 years ago.马丁輠祹(Martin Ford)的《机器人的崛起》(The Rise of the Robots)荣获英国《金融时报》和麦肯锡2015年度最佳商业图书奖(2015 Financial Times and McKinsey Business Book of the Year Award)。在某种意义上,这本书是与托马斯弗里德曼(Thomas Friedman)的《世界是平的》(The World is Flat)对立的反面乌托邦版本,后者在10年前获得了第一届英国《金融时报》最有影响力商业图书奖。Where Mr Friedman was breathlessly optimistic about the prospects for a working world connected, lubricated and energised by technology, Mr Ford, a software entrepreneur, is much more pessimistic.弗里德曼认为技术将连接和润滑我们工作的世界,并向其中注入活力,他对此极为乐观,而身为软件企业家的福特则悲观得多。He envisages a world of fewer jobs and relentless pressure on both manufacturing and professional workers, as machines take over an increasing range of tasks. If action is not taken, inequality will increase (a phenomenon also addressed by Thomas Piketty in last year’s award-winning book Capital in the Twenty-First Century ) and economic growth could stall.在福特所设想的世界,由于机器负责的任务范围越来越广,工作机会变得更少,制造业和专业领域的劳动者处于无休无止的压力下。如果不采取行动,不平等程度将会上升(去年获奖的托马斯皮凯蒂(Thomas Piketty)的《21世纪的资本》(Capital in the Twenty-First Century)也讨论过这个现象),经济增长可能停滞。At Tuesday’s judging session for the Financial Times and McKinsey Business Book of the Year Award, Shriti Vadera, board director and former UK business minister, said Mr Ford’s book pointed to “an incredibly turbulent time as we adjust to [a change] more profound than the industrial revolution”.在周二的评审会议上,前英国商务大臣、企业董事什里蒂瓦德拉(Shriti Vadera)表示,福特的著作指向了“一个日益动荡的时代,因为我们要适应一个比工业革命更深刻(的改变)”。As Mr Ford writes: “While human-machine collaboration jobs will certainly exist, they seem likely to be relatively few in number and often shortlived. In a great many cases, they may also be unrewarding and even dehumanising.”福特写道:“尽管必然存在人机协作的工作,这种工作似乎相对较少,通常也不长久。在许多情况下,它们还有可能无法给人以成就感,甚至使人丧失人性。”Mr Ford warns in the book that “a fundamental restructuring of our economic rules” may be needed to mitigate the impact of the advance of robotics and automation. He proposes a guaranteed minimum basic income — or “citizen’s dividend” — as one radical remedy.福特在其著作中警告称,我们或许需要“从根本上重构我们的经济规则”,以缓和机器人和自动化的进步带来的影响。作为一项激进的应对举措,他建议提供有保的最低基本收入,或者“公民红利”。Such solutions looked unpalatable to a number of the judges, but they agreed that, of the six strong contenders on this year’s shortlist, The Rise of the Robots was the book likely to have the greatest impact. One judge, Reid Hoffman, the co-founder of LinkedIn, said: “I believe that basic income is a plan of near last resort. I disagree that we get there inevitably from now.” He believes there are various ways in which entrepreneurship might be able to solve the issues highlighted in the book.有几位评委并不认同这样的解决方法,但他们认同,在今年入围奖项角逐的6本商业图书中,《机器人的崛起》可能最有影响。领英(LinkedIn)联合创始人、评委里德霍夫曼(Reid Hoffman)表示:“我相信,基本收入是一种接近最后手段的办法。我不认同从现在起我们将不可避免地到达那种地步。”他相信企业家或许有多种办法解决本书强调的问题。But the panel agreed that the book was an important call to action. Lionel Barber, FT editor and chair of the judging panel, called The Rise of the Robots “a tightly written and deeply researched addition to the public policy debate”.评审小组的一致意见是,这本书是一次呼吁采取行动的重要警示。英国《金融时报》总编辑以及评审委员会主席莱昂内尔巴伯(Lionel Barber)称《机器人的崛起》“行文紧凑、研究深入,是公共政策辩论领域的又一佳作”。Since 2005, when the 30,000 business book award was launched, successive panels of judges have tried to pick the titles that provided “the most compelling and enjoyable insights into modern business issues”. The rules were tweaked in 2014 to underline that durability of the ideas was also important. As board director and author Dambisa Moyo, new to this year’s judging panel, put it on Tuesday, the judges need to ask themselves: “Is there something in this book that we should know that we don’t?” and “What is the shelf life of these ideas?”自2005年设立这项附带3万英镑奖金的最佳商业图书奖以来,每一年的评审小组都努力挑选出“对现代商业问题提供了最令人叹且最有趣味的深刻见解”的图书。2014年,评审规则发生了一些改变,强调观点的持久性也很重要。今年新加入评审小组的作家、企业董事丹比萨莫约(Dambisa Moyo)周二提出,评委需要问自己:“这本书里有没有什么是我们应该知道,但我们还不知道的?”以及“这些观点的保质期有多久?”Answering the second of those questions is complicated by the increasing proportion of books about the business impact of technology.有关技术带来的商业影响的书籍越来越多,这使得回答第二个问题变得更加复杂。Many of the more than 200 entrants for this year’s prize had a technological theme — with a notable subset about how automation would affect humans in the workplace. Four of this year’s six finalists were books about some aspect of technological disruption: Losing the Signal , by Jacquie McNish and Sean Silcoff, who look at how BlackBerry went off course; Digital Gold , Nathaniel Popper’s examination of the rise of bitcoin, the virtual currency; How Music Got Free , Stephen Witt’s history of the way piracy and peer-to-peer sharing have disrupted the recorded music industry. The other two finalists — all of whom receive 10,000 — were Unfinished Business , about the challenge of achieving gender balance; and Misbehaving , in which Richard Thaler traces the development of behavioural economics.今年逾200本角逐该奖项的作品中很多都围绕技术主题——其中有相当一部分是关于自动化将如何在工作场所影响人类。今年最终入围的6本书中有4本都是关于技术中断的某个方面:杰基麦克尼什(Jacquie Mcnish)和肖恩缠尔科夫(Sean Silcoff)所著的《失去信号》(Losing the Signal)讲述了黑莓(BlackBerry)偏离轨道的经过;纳塔涅尔波佩尔(Nathaniel Popper)的《数字黄金》(Digital Gold)探寻了虚拟货币比特币的崛起;斯蒂芬威特(Stephen Witt)所写的《音乐如何变免费》讲述了盗版和对等网络共享(P2P,peer-to-peer)对唱片行业造成的破坏。其他两本入围作品——所有入围作品都会获得1万英镑的奖金——分别是关于实现性别平衡所面临的挑战的《做不完的事》(Un滻椀猀栀攀搀 Business);以及理查德泰勒(Richard Thaler)所著、讲述行为经济学发展轨迹的《行为不端》(Misbehaving)。Last year’s finalist The Second Machine Age , by Erik Brynjolfsson and Andrew McAfee, is notably more optimistic about the jobs that will be created as a result of the technology revolution. Mr Ford’s first book, The Lights in the Tunnel, was attacked for being too gloomy. But as Edward Luce wrote, reviewing The Rise of the Robots for the FT, his latest work is “well-researched and disturbingly persuasive”.去年的入围作品——埃里克布林约尔松(Erik Brynjolfsson)和安德鲁麦卡菲(Andrew McAfee)合著的《第二个机器时代》(The Second Machine Age)要乐观得多,认为技术革命将创造就业。福特的第一本书《隧道中的光明》(The Lights in the Tunnel)被批评太过悲观。但是正如爱德华戠斯(Edward Luce)在为FT撰写《机器人的崛起》的书评时所写的那样,福特的新作“研究深入、极具说力”。Mr Ford holds out the slim hope that, handled properly, the technological revolution could usher in an automated utopia of greater prosperity and leisure. But he warned on Tuesday, as he received the award, that his predictions “could unfold faster than we expect”, sweeping away the advantages of education and training. “Even people that do everything they are supposed to do [to get a good job] may find it difficult to get a foothold in the economy,” he told the New York audience.福特对技术革命(假如处理得当)可能引领自动化的乌托邦时代、给人类带来更大繁荣以及更多安逸仍抱持微弱的希望。但是,他周二获奖时警告称,他的预言“可能比我们想象中来得更快”,彻底否定了教育和培训的好处。“即使人们(为找到好工作)竭尽所能,可能也会发现很难在经济中找到立足之地,”他在纽约的颁奖礼上对观众表示。3At the same ceremony in New York, Dominic Barton, McKinsey’s global managing director, awarded the 15,000 Bracken Bower Prize for young business writers to Christopher Clearfield and András Tilcsik. Their proposed book would look at how businesses can manage the risk of catastrophic failure.在这场颁奖仪式上,麦肯锡全球董事总经理鲍达民(Dominic Barton)为克里斯托弗克利尔菲尔德(Christopher Clearfield)和安德拉什舠尔奇克(András Tilcsik)颁发了“布拉肯贠尔”青年商业作家奖(Bracken Bower Prize for young business writers)以及1.5万英镑的奖金。二人计划出版的图书将探索企业如何能够管控发生灾难性失败的风险。 /201511/411969Wang Jianlin, head of Dalian Wanda Group and China#39;s wealthiest man, said he wants the world to come to understand Chinese management philosophy and culture through his book, ;The Wanda Way,; which was launched in English in London on Monday.大连万达集团董事长、中国首富王健林的著作《万达哲学》英文版于上周一在伦敦发行。王健林表示,通过这本书,他想让世界了解中国的管理理念及文化。;I hope people can get to know Chinese culture and philosophy. A country is strong when its companies are strong,; he told a selected audience at the British Museum.他对大英物馆现场的观众说道:“我希望人们了解中国的文化和哲学。企业强,则国家强。”;I think this is a milestone event, not just for myself, or Wanda Group, but for Chinese companies,; he said.他表示,“我认为这是一个具有里程碑意义的事件,不仅是对我个人或者万达集团来讲,对所有的中国企业来说亦如此。”;China has begun to export our management philosophies. China exports have shifted from home appliances to cars and machinery, and our high-speed rail technology has been exported abroad,; he added.他补充说,“中国已经开启了输出管理理念的新阶段。中国已经从出口家用小电器转向出口汽车和机械,我们的高铁技术也已出口到国外。”The book has aly been reprinted 15 times and has sold 1m copies in its original Mandarin, after its launch in China in 2015.《万达哲学》中文版于2015年在国内出版,目前已重印15次,售出100万册。The UK Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport John Whittingdale told the audience: ;We have much to celebrate in this new golden era of the UK-China relationship. China and Britain can work together for our mutual benefit.;英国文化大臣约翰·惠廷戴尔告诉观众:“中英关系开启了全新的黄金时代,这非常值得庆祝。中英将共谋互惠互利的新局面。”Jin Xu, minister counsellor at the Chinese embassy in London, said in his address that ;you can learn a lot about China, China policy and China entrepreneurs from this book. After you#39;ve it, get a visa for China.;中国驻伦敦大使馆Jin Xu先生在致辞中表示:“通过这本书,你可以对中国、中国的政策和中国的企业家们有更深入的了解。读完这本书后,欢迎到中国来。” /201602/428346

Rule of Wen and Jing文景之治When the emperors Wen and Jing in the Western Han Dynasty (206B.C.---- 8 A.D.) came into power, they went on with more moderate and humane policies carried by Emperor Gaozu.汉文帝与汉景帝执政时,相较于高祖,他们采取了更加温和与人性化的政策。Historical records show that during their reigns the Han Dynasty (206B.C. ---- 220A.D.) prospered.历史记录显示,当他们当政时,汉朝(公元前206年至公元220年)繁荣发展。Untroubled by wars or natural disasters, people lived in peace.人们平安度日,不受战乱或自然灾害的忧扰。This resulted in an increase in population and the development of manufacturing industries and commerce.这最终造成了人口的增长以及制造业和经济的发展。The emperor Wen attached much importance to agriculture and economy.汉文帝将注意力更多放在了农业与经济上。He encouraged agricultural output by further reducing taxes and asked people to grow mulberry and raise silkworms.他通过不断减少税收以及建议人民种桑树、养蚕来鼓励农业的发展。Meanwhile, Wen introduced the reform of punishment and abolished many cruel penalties, in the 23 years of his reign, there was no reconstruction of the palace and his carriages remained the same.同时,文帝提倡惩罚制度的改革并取消了许多残酷的刑罚,在他统治的23年间,他不曾修缮过宫殿,连自己的马车也多年如一日。According to the historical records, the food supply was so ample that much got perished in the bams.根据史料记载,那时的食物供给十分充足以至于许多粮食都烂在了谷仓里。Another important factor that contributed to the prosperity of Han was that Wen and Jing endeavored to maintain a friendly relationship with Han and neighboring countries.另一个使得汉朝繁荣兴盛的原因在于文帝和景帝致力于与汉朝周边的国家维持良好的关系。 /201510/3973445.Chocolate5.巧克力When you take a bite out of a well-made chocolate bar, it feels like you#39;re eating the food of the gods. And, well, you#39;d be exactly right.当你从一根做好的巧克力棒上咬下一口的时候,你会觉得自己是在吃神赐的食物。好吧,确实是如此。The story begins as far back as 1500, when the Olmec managed to find and utilize cocoa beans. Of course, it was not called #39;cocoa#39; then, but #39;kakawa#39; – where we get the name from. They managed to turn it into a drink, but historians are hard-pressed to find any evidence that the Olmec did much else with it. The Mayans, however, loved the stuff. They identified it as a food of Kon, the god of rain and wind. They drank it, used the mixture as a substitute for blood in rituals, and even used the beans as currency. That#39;s right; once upon a time, you could buy things with chocolate. As for the solid bars we all know and love? They didn#39;t pop up until around 1850AD. Even after all of these years, however, we still love to offer chocolate to people we praise highly.故事开始于公元前1500年,奥尔梅克人发现了可可豆,并研究其用法。当然,那时候它还不叫;可可;,而是;kakawa;——现在的名字由此演变而来。他们将其做成一种饮品,但历史学家们很难找到据明奥尔梅克人用它制作了其他的东西。但是玛雅人很爱这种东西。他们确信它是风雨神Kon的一种食物。他们饮用这种饮品,在祭祀仪式上用它代替血,甚至用可可豆来当货币。没错,曾经有一段时间,你可以用巧克力来买东西。那么我们所认识且钟爱的巧克力棒呢?它们直到公元1850年才出现。然而,纵然过去了这么多年,我们仍然喜欢为我们珍爱的人赠送巧克力。4.Worcestershire Sauce4.辣酱油While relatively unknown to most of the world, this foodstuff gets a spot on this list because it was made entirely by accident.尽管辣酱油在世界上很多地方都鲜有人知,但我们还是将这种食物纳入这篇文章中,因为它的制作完全是个意外。It began its life as an Indian sauce. The recipe made its way over to Worcester, England, where two chemists, John Wheeley Lea and William Perrins, got their hands on it. They marketed this new exotic sauce, claiming all sorts of healing properties to cure common problems. When they actually made the stuff, however, it tasted awful. The pair stuffed the rest in a barrel and left it in a cellar, presumably to use again some day. That day didn#39;t come until two years later. The pair, rediscovering their old invention, decided to give it a second shot. What should have probably murdered them, actually tasted very good. The pair decided to sell the sauce under the name #39;Lea and Perrins,#39; a brand name that is strong to this day. Who knows how many other food inventions we#39;ve missed, due to people not willing to eat vastly out-of–date food?它最初是一种印度酱油。这个食谱传到了英国伍斯特,被两位化学家John Wheeley Lea 和William Perrins所得。他们售卖这种新的异国酱油,宣称它能治愈一般的疾病。然而,当他们实际制成了这种东西的时候,它的味道非常糟糕。这两个人将剩下的酱油倒进一个桶里,存放在地窖中,准备过几天再用。而这一天直到两年后才到来。这两个人重新发现了他们过去的发明,决定再试试。差点让他们笑死的是,这东西尝起来非常美味。两人决定售卖这种酱油,给它取名;Lea and Perrins;,这个商标直到今天依然赫赫有名。因为人们不愿意吃那些过期的食物,谁知道我们因此错过了多少美食的发明?3.Milkshake3.奶昔Milkshakes are a lovely treat for the young, but you definitely would not want to give the original recipe to a child.奶昔是款待年轻人的好东西,但你绝对不愿意给孩子们品尝早期的奶昔。The first time the world saw the word #39;milkshake#39; was in 1885, in a British newspaper. The article did not go on to talk about if people preferred strawberry or banana flavour; in fact, what the article did say was that milkshake was a ;sturdy, healthful eggnog type of drink, with eggs, whiskey, etc., served as a tonic as well as a treat.; Yes, that#39;s right; the original milkshake contained alcohol. The actual milkshake we know and love came a little later in the 1900s. In 1922, a man called Ivan ;Pop; Coulson wanted to make a remix on the recipe. Ever an experimenter, he added the one ingredient that made a huge impact on the recipe of milkshake forever; ice cream. Since then, the version with whiskey in it has fallen out of public knowledge; unfortunately, alcoholic milkshakes are not an item on the #39;hidden #39; in fast food places.;奶昔;一词于1885年在英国的一份报纸上第一次问世。文章并没有继续讨论人们更喜欢草莓还是香蕉的香味;实际上,这篇文章所描述的奶昔是一种;坚硬的、健康的蛋酒式饮品,里面加有鸡蛋、威士忌等,既是一种补药,也可用来款待宾朋。;没错,最初的奶昔里面含有酒精。我们现在知道且喜爱的奶昔出现得较晚,到20世纪90年代才出现。1922年,一个名叫Ivan Pop Coulson的人想在食谱中再混合点东西。他在试验品中加入了一种发挥了重要作用的原料——冰激凌。从那以后,加有威士忌版本的奶昔就逐渐退出了公众视野;不幸地是,酒味奶昔在快餐店的;隐藏菜单;里也不提供。2.Graham Crackers2.全麦饼干Do you feel less lust after eating a graham cracker? You should do – or, at least, the inventor of it hopes you do.吃完一片全麦饼干以后是否觉得欲望有所减轻呢?这正是——或至少是其发明者所希望的。In the 1830s, reverend Sylvester Graham decided that America had become too lust-filled. In order to curb the problem and help people across the nation get back onto a good God-fearing path, he created the #39;Graham diet.#39; The diet consisted of wheat, fruit and vegetables, but absolutely no meat; eating meat and fatty foods was, Graham claimed, a way to invoke sexual thoughts in the mind. Sylvester Graham invented the graham cracker as a part of his newfound diet. He wasn#39;t alone in his mind-set; someone else who shared this was John Harvey Kellogg. Does the name seem familiar? That#39;s right – Kellogg#39;s corn flakes. The beloved breakfast cereal was Kellogg#39;s way to save the souls of the American people, but ended up being a delicious breakfast rather than a cure for the wandering eye. Next time you need to calm down, try stuffing graham crackers into your mouth. If the wheat doesn#39;t do the trick, the dry mouth certainly will.19世纪30年代,教士Sylvester Graham认为美国欲望太过膨胀。为解决这一问题,帮助全国的人们回到一条虔诚的道路上,他发明了;Graham 饮食;。这种饮食中包括谷物、水果和蔬菜,但绝对没有肉;Graham认为,吃肉和脂肪类食品会引发人心中的淫欲。Sylvester Graham发明了全麦饼干作为他的全新饮食的一部分。他并不是一个人将想法付诸实际;另外一个与他共享的是John Harvey Kellogg。这名字是不是有些熟悉?没错——Kellogg#39;s玉米片。Kellogg想要以这种受人喜爱的早餐谷物来拯救美国人的灵魂,谁知它没有拯救得了迷茫的双眼,却成为了美味的早餐。当下次你需要冷静一下的时候,试试在你嘴里塞上全麦饼干。如果小麦解决不了问题,那口干舌燥的感觉肯定会让你达到目的。1.Marshmallows1.棉花糖To better understand where the marshmallow came from, you must first understand that the name #39;marshmallow#39; is a combination of #39;marsh#39; and #39;mallow#39;. It refers to the Mallow plants that grew around marshes; hence the name.为了更好地理解棉花糖从哪而来,你必须要理解棉花糖的名字,;棉花糖marshmallow;是由marsh(沼泽)和mallow(锦葵)组成。它是指生长在沼泽中的锦葵,这就是它的名字。This specific plant was harvested in Egyptian times. They did not merely eat it for its sweet flavour, however. Back then, Egyptian doctors were convinced that marshmallow was an effective way of curing a sore throat in children, which sounds like a medication a child would never reject. In fact, it#39;s thought that this miracle medicine was eaten by richer kids as a treat, rather than a cure. As for the marshmallow as we know of it today, the root goes back to 1800s France, where it was pushed as a treat for kids and adults alike. Then, in 1948, Alex Doumak created a way to make the little delights in a way that was completely automated, allowing the sweet treat to be produced efficiently. While the marshmallow is treated as a candy rather than medicine, it wouldn#39;t hurt to buy a big bag and #39;experiment#39; for yourself next time you catch a cold.这种特殊的植物在埃及时代丰收。但人们不是仅仅为了食用它的甜味。当时,埃及的医生相信,沼泽中的锦葵可以有效地治疗儿童咽喉疼痛,孩子似乎不会拒绝这种药。实际上,人们认为,富人家的孩子吃这种神奇的药作为消遣,而不是治疗疾病。至于今天我们所知道的棉花糖,要追溯到19世纪的法国,它很受孩子和成年人的喜爱。到1948年,Alex Doumak发明了一种方法使这种小甜品的生产完全自动化,提高了它的生产效率。尽管棉花糖成为了一种糖果而非药品,但你下次感冒的时候买上一大包自己;试验;一下也不会有害。翻译:赵倩 来源:前十网 /201510/405397Every kid from a small family has probably felt sorry for themselves at one time or another for not having loads of brother and sisters. From the outside looking in, there#39;s a lot to envy about families that have enough kids to field their own baseball game, produce complex harmonies a la ;The Sound of Music,; or put on a play without casting stuffed animals in major roles.每个来自小家庭的孩子可能都或多或少感到遗憾,因为他们没有一大堆兄弟陪伴成长。从表面上看,如果一个家庭中有足够多的孩子来打属于他们自己家庭的棒球,或者是在《音乐之声》中演唱复杂的和声,再或者是在一场家庭剧中不使用动物来充当主要角色,这实在是很令人羡慕的一件事,But a new study shows there are convincing reasons not to romanticize large families. The study suggests that with every additional kid born, the other siblings are more likely to suffer from lower cognitive abilities and more behavioral issues, and have worse outcomes later in life.但一项新研究显示,我们有令人信的理由明,不应美化多子女家庭。该研究发现,每增加一个孩子,其他孩子认知能力降低的可能性就更高,他们会出现更多行为问题,未来生活的结局也会更糟。The researchers found that the birth of another kid also lowered the overall amount of education that each child received.研究人员发现,多生一个孩子还会降低每个孩子受教育的程度。Countries like Norway, which have extensive welfare programs, parental leave and other supportive policies for families, and strong public education, might see less of a trade-off for families between the quantity and quality of children, they hypothesize. But parents in countries like the ed States and China, might be forced to choose, they say.他们认为,在像挪威这样拥有完善的社会福利体系、父母有足够的休假、拥有其他的家庭扶持政策,以及强大的公共教育的国家中,每个家庭不太会去权衡孩子的数量和质量这一问题。但是那些生活在像美国和中国这样国家的父母,必须要在两者之中做出选择。 /201601/420297

As a marriage counsellor working with men and women in relationship crisis, I help clients navigate numerous issues. While many situations are complex, there#39;s one profoundly simple truth that men need to know: Women leave men they love.作为一个为陷入情感危机的男女提供帮助的婚姻顾问,我帮助客户处理过无数问题。虽然很多情况都很复杂,但有一件极为简单的事男人需要知道:女人会离开她们深爱的男人。They feel terrible about it. It tears their heart out of them. But they do it. They rally their courage and their resources and they leave. Women leave men with whom they have children, homes and lives.她们会很痛苦,撕心裂肺,但依然会这样做。她们会重拾勇气和安慰,然后离开。女人会离开那个和她共同抚育子女、经营家庭、一起生活过的男人。Women leave for many reasons, but there#39;s one reason in particular that haunts me, one that I want men to understand: Women leave because their man is not present. He#39;s working, golfing, gaming, watching TV, fishing...the list is long. These aren#39;t bad men. They#39;re good men. They#39;re good fathers. They support their family. They#39;re nice, likeable. But they take their wife for granted. They#39;re not present.女人离开有很多原因,但其中有一个尤其让我难以忘怀,这也是我想让男人们明白的:女人离开是因为这个男人总不在身边。他要工作、打高尔夫、玩游戏、看电视、钓鱼……他们总有很多事。他们也不是不好,都是好男人、好父亲,他们会养家、人好、人缘好,却认为妻子做什么都理所当然,总是不陪在妻子身边。Men, I#39;m not saying this is right or wrong. I#39;m telling you what I see. You can get as angry, hurt or indignant as you want. Your wife is not your property. She does not owe you her soul. You earn it. Day by day, moment after moment. You win her over first and foremost with your presence, your aliveness. She needs to feel it. She wants to talk to you about what matters to her and to feel that you#39;re listening to her. Not nodding politely. Not placating. Definitely not playing devil#39;s advocate.男人们,我不是在评价这种情况好坏与否,我说的都是我所见到的。你可以尽情地生气、伤感或义愤填膺。妻子不是你的财产,她的灵魂不归你所有,你需要一天一天、一点点地努力去赢得,首先要用你的陪伴、你的活力去赢得她的芳心。她需要感觉到,她想跟你聊对她重要的东西,并且要感受到你在倾听,而不是礼貌性地点头、安抚,当然更不能唱反调。She wants you to feel her. She doesn#39;t want absent-minded groping or quick sex. She wants to feel your passion. Do you have it? It#39;s the most attractive thing you possess. If you#39;ve lost it, what#39;s the reason? Where did it go? Find out. Find it.她想要你感受到她,不想要心不在焉的抚摸或快餐式的性爱,她想感受到你的。你有吗?这是你所拥有的最有吸引力的东西。如果你失去了,为什么?去哪儿了?你要弄明白并找回。If you think you#39;re present with your wife, try listening to her. Does your mind wander? Notice. When you look at her, how deeply do you see her? Look again, look deeper. Meet her gaze and keep it for longer than usual. If she asks what you#39;re doing, tell her: ;I#39;m looking into you. I want to see you deeply. I#39;m curious about who you are. After all these years I still want to know who you are, every day.; But only say it if you mean it.如果你认为妻子是上天对你的馈赠,你就要试着去倾听。你是不是走神了?注意力要集中。你注视她的时候,能看到她的内心深处吗?再仔细看看,要看得更深。和她双目对视,而且时间要比平时长。如果她问你在做什么,就跟她说:“我在观察你,我想看透你。我好奇你到底什么样。在一起这么多年了,但我仍然每天都想知道你是什么样的人。”你说这些话一定要发自肺腑。Touch her with your full attention. Before you put your hand on her, notice the sensation in your hand. Notice what happens the moment you make contact. What happens in your body? What do you feel? Notice the most subtle sensations and emotions. Tell her everything you#39;re noticing, moment after moment.全神贯注地触碰她,手放在她身上之前,你要注意自己手上的感觉,注意你碰到她的那一刻发生了什么,你身上有什么变化?你感觉到了什么?你要注意到最细微的感觉和情绪。你无时无刻都要告诉她你注意到的一切。But you#39;re busy. You don#39;t have time for all this. How about five minutes? Five minutes a day. Will you commit to that? I#39;m talking about five minutes a day to be completely present with the woman you share your life with. To be completely open -- listening and seeing without judgement. Will you do that? I bet once you start, once you get a taste, you won#39;t want to stop.但你很忙,没有时间去做所有这些事。那么5分钟怎么样?每天抽出5分钟,你能保吗?我说的是一天抽出5分钟全部用来陪伴和你共度一生的女人。完全敞开你的心扉,不带任何评价地倾听、注视她。你能做到吗?我打赌你一旦开始这样做、尝到这样做的甜头,你就再也不想停下来了。 /201512/413271

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